So with his love of songs I wasn't surprised to hear him singing nonstop primary songs after we had our annual primary program at church. He was doing just that one night at the dinner table and then stopped mid-song and asked, "Mom, after dinner will you teach me to walk in the light?"
Kris and I froze, looked at each other and then at him. Umm. Sure?
It was not a question I was prepared to ever hear, but it made us smile. We were curious just what he meant by "light" so I asked him and he said, "You know, will you teach me how to walk in the sunlight?" Ah, got it.
We had a simple discussion about what that song is all about and he went away satisfied but I've thought about it many times since then. It caught me so off guard. He didn't mean to ask me such a profound question, in his active little 5 year old mind I'm sure he was imagining some pretty cool light-walking tricks Mom could teach him, you know, Jedi style, but still....to hear him ask me that question reminded me of my responsibility as a Mom. It is way too easy for me to get caught up in the visible developmental milestones of my children that I sometimes neglect or forget about the spiritual milestones that aren't so easily seen. Am I as concerned about teaching Ryan from the scriptures as I am with teaching him how to read and write? Am I teaching him to 'walk in the Light'? Am I doing enough? Hmmm. Something for me to evaluate.
As I've been evaluating I've decided it's too bad our kids don't ask us things like that more often (or ever). For instance can you imagine your child saying, "Mom, after this movie is over will you teach me how to love my neighbor as myself?" That would motivate me to be kinder to others! It would also be like an occasional parenting evaluation. A "how am I doing?" of sorts. But, they usually don't ask. And I suppose that's why parenting is so hard (at least it is for me) because it's my responsibility to bring these things up either by words or by actions. Actually, it should be words AND actions. It will do me no good to teach my kids Gospel principles if I'm not living them.
I've also decided that I can not beat myself up about all the things I am not doing that I could be doing. The raising of these boys is a whole lot of responsibility. Have you read/listened to Elder Holland's talk directed to the young men that was given at the Priesthood Session of General Conference? As a Mom of boys I sat up and took notice. While listening to that talk I could almost feel a tangible pressure of how serious my responsibility is. I do take it seriously. It can feel so overwhelming at times because there is so much to teach them, so many things to warn about and so many things I could be doing to help them. But I realize it's impossible for me to be doing everything all the time. I need to stick with the basics (prayer, scriptures, FHE...) and work from there. When I drop one ball to juggle others that inevitably get thrown in the mix I can't let it get me down. I need to just pick it up and keep going. I want to be the best Mom I can be to these little boys, and part of doing that is cutting myself some slack along the way. (Easier said than done.)
This doesn't even begin to explain all the thoughts I've been having on this subject. Being a Mom is hard! I'm just glad we aren't expected to be perfect, and we have powerful Help in our corner. I just have to remember to ask for it. As I was going through the pictures I took for Grey's 9 month post I found a few of Ryan. As usual when the camera is out Ryan is always requesting a photo shoot! I thought this one was particularly appropriate for this post.
My Ryan, in the light.
Love this boy. I'm so lucky to be his Mom.
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2 comments:
I love your thoughts on this! I agree it's very stressful sometimes to realize the responsibility we have, I think you are amazing though and your kids are lucky to have you!
what a sweet boy. you are a wonderful mom and your family is lucky to have you!
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